Photo by Matt Cannon on Unsplash
The human brain is a marvel; particularly our subconscious. We often hear experts claiming that the subconscious is like the base of the iceberg. That may be the simplest way of describing it. But did you ever wonder that your brain has a language? That obscure part, which same experts often claim lies in a deep slumberous shadow, has a way of speaking to us. And paying attention to what it wants to tell you might sometimes shed some light on how you are living your life. Or how you should live it.
That language is Dreams.
Since around a couple of months before I got married (so we’re talking about early 2016), I was having recurrent dreams about a strange place. Strange in the sense that it gave off the feeling — during the dream, of course — that I had been there before… many times before. In reality, I have no idea of ever visiting this place (though I am sure it was inspired by some ‘adventurous’ visits me and my friends had to particular ruins on the island – a couple of years ago). The place in the dream was always in a terrible state of ‘modern’ ruin: graffiti, rust, crusty and fallen plaster, rubble, stone stairs…. and dark. Very dark!
The dream kind of always followed this pattern… give or take. I am out with some of my friends until we randomly come across the above-mentioned ruins. We are all aware we’ve been to this place before. We had a ghastly supernatural experience there, and are not so intent on returning. Out of fear, I and my friends decide to keep walking and not visit the place again. In some instances of the dream, we have no option but to traverse the place in order to get to our intended destination, wherever it might be. Whatever our decision, in any given instance, something terrible always creeps out of this cursed ruin to torment us.
That was the dream. I will not delve into the detail of how it slowly started to turn from a casual disturbing dream into a nightmare. On one particular instance, a terrible dark entity spoke in such a harrowing manner as it spotted us, that we ran for our lives until I ended up waking up in the middle of the night, as terrified as a baby. I remember I was under the effect so much when I woke, that I went back to sleep with the lamp turned on.
I needn’t stress how horrifying a nightmare is; how everything seems like reality and everything feels like it is on the edge, and there is no way out. We’ve all been there. We laugh at it in the morning, as we narrate it to our friends (or write about it on our blogs!). The experience ‘inside’ the dream, however, is all but funny. This was what actually got me curious. So I started wondering what it could mean. A quick search on the internet revealed the significant ‘importance’ of recurrent dreams and how different parts of ourselves are portrayed in a dream (for example your house or a building usually represents your personality)
— Sidenote: when you browse the net, please make sure you know your sources… there’s loads of rubbish out there. And there goes my disclaimer —
Back to my story. So this was a couple of months before I got married. I had my share of questions, fears and common doubts, like every other guy who is giving up his bachelorhood for life. This wasn’t like taking a quick shot at some horrendous mix of alcohol during a wild night, which you could look back on and laugh and promise yourself not to try it again. This was a decision of marriage. So back then, I realized (after I had read a good share of trusted sources) that my subconscious was sending me messages. That this eerie place, haunted by a dark entity with such a disturbing and horrifying voice was only the messenger (don’t shoot the messenger, right?). It was the subconscious’ language.
From there, I did my homework, of course. I spoke with my fiancée (now my gorgeous and marvelous wife). She was supportive and very understanding – I was only beginning to discover what precious gift and unique person I was going to spend my life with, back then. Following that, only some weeks later, I had the dream again. The ruins appeared close by, as usual, and I spoke to my friends about the importance of going in. I still remember the details of going down collapsed stone stairs very clearly, into a sort of modern suburb dungeon. (Think of Chernobyl or some post-apocalyptic movie you like. Or just watch this great video by Alan Walker.). Well, the dream went on, but I didn’t wake up. I looked around me and took in as much detail as I could of the abandoned accursed place, whilst continuously stressing upon myself the importance of having courage, not being afraid. At some point something tried to squash me, squeeze me out. It all felt like I was suddenly in a closed chamber full of fire where I wasn’t getting burned. I remember hearing myself saying this is just a dream; that this will not continue to control and torment me.
Then I woke up.
I wasn’t afraid, at all. It had not been a nightmare. It had been like any other casual dream and I wasn’t afraid… at all. It had not been a nightmare. It had been like any other casual dream where I visited a dark and scary place without feeling afraid. It was a normal dream like all others, where the impossible is made possible. More importantly, however, I felt proud of myself. I knew then, that whatever my sub consciously rooted fears had been, they were conquered. They had lost a good hold of me. And I said to myself: if I have managed to face my fears in a dream — where we rarely to never have any control — then let alone what I can do in reality.
Today, more than a year after, I have often dreamt of the place again. But it has never been horrid, terrifying or a run-for-your-life feeling. It has been an adventure, just like married life (a year and four months since I saw her walking down the aisle), and one of the best decision’s I’ve ever made. I never had those nightmares again.
Today, I’m here to tell you to listen to your dreams. In my case, they wanted to remind me to speak up and face my fears. To you, they might be giving some other kind of warning, or reminder. To another, they might be a life saver 🙂
John