I lost my dad when I was 18 years old, fifteen years ago.
Sometimes, it’s like it never even happened. Other times, it just feels like it happened only yesterday. At times I feel sad. Not always, though. As I dive deep into memory lane, mesmerizing about the good times, I often get overwhelmed by that feeling of pride left by the legacy that my father left behind.
This morning, I had one of those moments. I was in the car, listening to piano songs on YouTube. Just piano, you know. I parked at my destination, but didn’t get out of the car just immediately. I sat there, and let the piano song finish. (this one, if you’re curious). And while I sat there and listened, my mind took me back to a discussion I had with some family members some weeks back about how I’d rather by blind than deaf. And I also thought about my dad, and my family, and the lessonns he taught me, and the un-worldly treasures he left us. Those type that are installed in the heart and mind, and do not suffer any rust nor form of withering. Everlasting.
Because of this I felt a pure mixture of sadness and joy. I cannot explain it completely, but I’m sure those who have lost someone they loved, know what I mean. Actually, no. Not just those who lost someone they loved, but anyone out there who endured a hard time in their life. A time that threatened to take their life and soul away. But they survived. Yes to all those.
Therefore, to all of us.
Because all of us have had our share of losing, our share of suffering, our share of crying and not understanding whatever life was throwing at us at the time. And that is why it makes it okay to be sad about it sometimes. If you don’t feel sad, how do you expect to feel happy? How is happiness calculated in your brain, do you think, if not by the relativity to your previous experience of sadness? If you have never felt sad before, how will you tell your children, or your friends, or your colleagues, or anyone who is passing through a difficult time, that you can relate? How will you ever be able to pat your son or friend on the back and tell them it will be okay, if you never knew any kind of sadness or pain? How will you even understand anyone and be able to wear their shoes, if you have never walked barefoot and lost your own shoes?
So please, allow yourself to be sad. It’s part of the human experience.
Unfortunately we do live in a world that’s continously trying to tell us not to be normal, not to be average, and not to be weak.
No to that! Allow yourself to be sad. It’s part of the human experience. It’s part of who you are, as a human. As an individual. It’s you. Just you. And there’s no need to be afraid of that!
Photo by Tammy Gann on Unsplash